A winter’s fog has settled on Halcyon Pond. Cold and heavy, it has settled on my heart. Winter comes and goes, some days bright and warm, reminders that spring will return. Others, cold and morose, remind that all of us will meet our end; an end?; a new beginning?
And so am I. Some days I feel spry, young, ready. Others are filled with aches and anxieties, awareness of an aging body leaving the mind behind.
The body and mind travel a strange trajectory together. Early in life, with no awareness, the body does as it will, with no interference from the mind. Awareness grows, the body grows until at adolescence body and mind struggle for dominance. The body has grown beyond the mind’s reach. The mind searches for identity inside this unfamiliar body.
These struggles evolve, an integrated body-mind emerges. There is an identity, a Self. One moves about one’s life with a relative ease, born of harmony between body and mind.
But then autumn comes and cold breezes start to warn of winter. The body complains when an over-eager mind wants to do too much. The body and mind start to travel separate paths. Until a second transition–a reverse adolescence–is reached. Again the mind struggles with identity. Who am I if my body won’t do what my mind still strives for? We are faced once again with discovering self; redefining Self. Or finding the Self that transcends body-mind.
We can see this “ecnecseloda” as an ending. Or see it as a bridge to a new beginning. We can descend into a fog, defeated. Or rather sink into the fog, relieved of external stimuli, free to contemplate and prepare for whatever is next. Then, as the fog lifts, we are left with crystals of awareness, like water droplets hanging on a gossamer web, glistening in the warming sun.